We spent the morning workshopping our poems. We each read one of our poems aloud. After we each individually read, Cat has us go into the imaginary "green room." The poet who work is being discussed stays silent; meanwhile, the rest of us discuss specific lines that we liked, structural issues, etc. After a few minutes, the poet is let out of the "green room" and a whole group conversation takes place. This type of critique process works very well. Many complimentary things are said about people's pieces, but there is also valuable and constructive feedback on words that can be replaced or omitted, lines that can be broken up differently, or even just general brainstorming for intriguing titles.
This morning I read the following poem. It was from a prompt which required use of a subordinate clause starter, use of the word "ordinarily," and mention of fast food and textiles.
Below is my draft:
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Parts of the poem definitely feel forced, but that tends to come with the experience of responding to a prompt. There was definite positive feedback from the group. Many enjoyed the language used in the last line, especially the word "cleaving." Laurie mentioned that there is an S sound throughout the poem and it makes it flow nicely when it is read aloud. Suggestions were made, however, to omit "ordinarily" from the poem and even to take out the whole sentence that features "ordinarily." Suggestions were also made to mention the specific type of food that is "sizzling."
Although poetry can be prose-like or can have stanzas and traditional line breaks, I decided to revise the piece so that there would be more line breaks too.
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During the rest of the morning, we read two dog poems; these pieces went along with a prompt for later in the day. We also read two pieces that were considered "paraclausi thyron." One piece was contemporary and the other was a poem by Emily Dickinson. The two pieces shared the similarity of focusing on "being locked out or left out."
In addition to the two prompts above, we also were given a prompt "inspired" by a phrase that my husband often says: "I just want to life heavy things." We also were given the choice of writing about an item from a purse (from perspective of object, using the object as an extended metaphor, ode to the object, poem about history of the object, etc).
This morning I read the following poem. It was from a prompt which required use of a subordinate clause starter, use of the word "ordinarily," and mention of fast food and textiles.
Below is my draft:
Parts of the poem definitely feel forced, but that tends to come with the experience of responding to a prompt. There was definite positive feedback from the group. Many enjoyed the language used in the last line, especially the word "cleaving." Laurie mentioned that there is an S sound throughout the poem and it makes it flow nicely when it is read aloud. Suggestions were made, however, to omit "ordinarily" from the poem and even to take out the whole sentence that features "ordinarily." Suggestions were also made to mention the specific type of food that is "sizzling."
Although poetry can be prose-like or can have stanzas and traditional line breaks, I decided to revise the piece so that there would be more line breaks too.
During the rest of the morning, we read two dog poems; these pieces went along with a prompt for later in the day. We also read two pieces that were considered "paraclausi thyron." One piece was contemporary and the other was a poem by Emily Dickinson. The two pieces shared the similarity of focusing on "being locked out or left out."
In addition to the two prompts above, we also were given a prompt "inspired" by a phrase that my husband often says: "I just want to life heavy things." We also were given the choice of writing about an item from a purse (from perspective of object, using the object as an extended metaphor, ode to the object, poem about history of the object, etc).
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