Day 5, Afternoon presentations and goodbyes

During the afternoon, the aTi participants were able to see the final products completed in the various workshops. Printmaking impresses me because although the final pieces look "easy," I know that the artists have to print layer upon layer; it's a time-consuming process. Songwriting/music tech impresses me since it's like writing poetry, but going one step further by adding instrumentation. The participants in book arts always have to exhibit patience throughout their entire work process. Seeing what the pottery participants create interests me since I took the aTi workshop with Deb Goletz last summer. Overall though, I'm always most impressed by the oil painting workshop attendees. They seem to produce so many paintings within the five days---it's impressive. I also enjoy seeing the various subject matters that they paint. Similar to poetry, seeing artists' paintings gives you a look into their lives.

Below are some of my favorite paintings.

Artwork by Denise... 

Lisa's artwork

Once the time came for the aTi poets, we individually read two of our poems. We didn't have microphones, so I was worried about how well my voice would project. Then again, I am a middle school teacher----projecting a loud voice is something at which I am skilled.

I chose to read "Outside World" (my Paraclausithyron piece) and my cocoa butter poem. I tried to look up at the audience while reading the poem, but I was nervous too. At one point though, looking up at the audience just seemed to be the right thing to do....because then my poems were not just stand-alone pieces with which I could connect and engage...others were then brought into the poem too. 

The end of aTi reminds me of the end of summer camp. I was excited to go home, see family and friends, and get back into regular "routines." Even though I did not participate in the "residential" aTi experience this year, these aTi workshops are consuming. I called my workshop "poetry boot camp." We'd be at our sessions from 9-5; then, once we got home, we'd continue working on drafting and revising.

On the last day of aTi, I begin worrying, How will I make time for poetry ? The fact of the matter is that if something is one's passion, she will make time for it. I am reminded of a favorite quotation by H. Jackson Browne, Jr : “Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”

I'm hoping that this summer's aTi experience was simply the beginning of my creative journey for this year, but I'm already looking forward to aTi 2015. 

Day 5: Poetry workshop is filled with smiles and...tears.

Throughout the five days of aTi, our group shared drafts and revisions of writing pieces. Day five, however, truly showed me how you could have six writers in a room (Laurie, Seema, Svea, Susan, our faciliator Cat, and me) and have completely varied working methods, editing styles, and subject matter of pieces. Seema would always begin her drafts by hand writing them; Laurie did too. Svea had a journal that she filled for pages and pages with freewrites. She then would take those freewrites and draft them into poems. Susan handwrote, but she also typed on her Ipad. I would drift from hand writing pieces to typing them, but I'd always be listening to music on my headphones. We wrote many drafts and did several revisions during the week, but the following are some of the most memorable pieces (to me).

***Seema's ode to her loom
***Seema's poem about making noodle kugel for her husband
***Laurie's poem about Tinkerbell's divorce
***Laurie's poem about Meatball City
***Susan's poem about the various weights we carry in life
***Susan's poem about "the word"
***Svea's poem about the backyard of a house
***Svea's poem about yellow jackets, her sons, and an eerie dream

During these five days, we got to know each other well. When I last attended aTi for poetry (summer of 2012), there were moments when members of our poetry workshop cried. When most people write poetry, they're not writing about flowers, rainbows, and horses. They write about experiences, and many times those are experiences are painful. Last year when I attended aTi for pottery, I remember making the joke of "No one ever cries in pottery workshop."

Well, my tears appeared on this last day of aTi. Like I previously said, when it comes to sharing emotions, I tend to hold back. On day five, I shared an older piece with the group, a poem entitled "Presence." This poem is representative of the types of pieces that I would like to write all of the time. Poetry is challenging though; it takes a lot out of you.

Ekphrastic poetry

During our afternoon time with Renee, we completed an ekphrastic poetry prompt. Ekphrastic poetry is simply poetry which is inspired by a work of art. For this prompt, we rummaged through various prints that Renee provided. Some were religious images, some were realistic landscapes, and some were abstract images. I was intrigued by Gypsy Witch  by Joanna Ruocco.

We first described the image for 10 minutes. Then, we wrote down 3-5 questions that the art seems to be asking. We next wrote a zen parable about the artwork in which we answered at least one of the questions we posed during the last mini-activity. Lastly, (and oddly) we received a non-fiction article and had to pull out facts from it and write them down. The prompt was originally created by Kathy Grayber and, in short, these were the steps:

1. Describe the art only
2. Discuss issues raised by art
3. Tell a story from life
4. Use external information
5. Come back to the art

While I ultimately did not write a final poem from those various steps, completing those steps was an enriching experience. I might come back to that prompt at a later point and try it again, hoping to have its result be an ekphrastic poem.

Unfortunately, I could not find an online image of Ruocco's art, but here is what I completed for step one:

Day 4 with "the slasher"

On our fourth day of aTi, we had a special guest, poet Renee Ashley. On the previous day, Cat had shown us two poems by Renee.  One poem was early in Renee's career and was a straight narrative piece. The other poem was from a book entitled Her Book of Difficulty; the piece was significantly different from the narrative poem. It was interesting to see these two works because it gave us a scope of Renee's growth and evolution as a writer.

We started our morning session with a fun prompt that involved favorite film stars from childhood, favorite condiment or marital aid, favorite cuss word, and so on. This was just a goofy prompt to start the morning with, but during our later discussion, Renee stated that prompts are good for writers because they break us out of our patterns. As writers, we have an inkling of what our most proficient areas. Maybe it's dialogue or images or figurative language. After awhile, one can get in a writing rut and constantly write similar pieces. Prompts get us out of our comfort zones.

After we read aloud our pieces from the silly prompt, we each read a piece aloud and gave copies to everyone. Cat jokingly called Renee "the slasher," a term of odd endearment with which Renee also agreed. As we read our pieces aloud, Renee, armed with a red pen and green highlighter, made various marks on our poems. She helped us focus on unneccessary words and helped us try to break free from the structure of stanzas. In a small revelation, I looked at a rough draft of a piece and then compared it to my "final" draft. When I typed up the written poem, I compressed all of the stanzas together. However, when the poem was read aloud, the stanzas were still incredibly noticeable. There's nothing "wrong" with having stanzas, but it is important that us writers recognize our patterns. Sometimes patterns turn into crutches on which we rely too heavily.

I chose to read the following poem. I knew it was not a finished piece, but I was hoping to get some guidance on what to next do with the piece.

After I read the poem aloud, Renee asked me how I would critique myself. I was incredibly honest: "I like the images. The ending is cliched. The poem is really just observations and nothing else is really going on. I hate it."

We eventually got into a discussion on the craft of writing. Renee pinpointed the following as tenets of writing:
1. compression
2. image
3. seamlessness

She said that we can't just be "wonderful with words." There needs to be resonance. She also talked about how there should be tension in a poem, where one image has the reader focused, but then another image turns the reader around in a different direction. To show her point, she had us read Cat's poem, "Breathing Underwater." The poem begins innocently enough, with images of Weeki Watchee mermaids doing domestic tasks. The poem then veers into the image of holding one's breath and brings the reader to a dark childhood image. The poem makes the reader feel uncomfortable. After hearing the poem read aloud, I was, in fact, feeling breathless.

As a writer, I know that I have experiences underneath my surface which I can explore. My mother was an alcoholic. My father passed away when I was only 6 years old. Another father figure passed away when I was only 12 years old. I stayed with various friends and family members while my mother attended different rehabs. I just don't think I am ready to face those experiences and write about them. I think that's why I "latch" onto the images.

Like Renee said, there's more to writing than simply being "wonderful with words." Bravery is a component which I am still waiting to find.

Responding to Renee's prompt

During the writing time, my mind seemed blank. I was, however, "saved by the Internet."

I wasn't sure how to approach Renee's prompt. I tend to include narratives in my poems, but that was a no-no in her prompt. Time passed...nothing was on my paper. I'll admit it... I decided to roam the Internet for awhile. Since Sassy was the best magazine ever (it is no longer published), I frequently read the website, www.xojane.com. It's run by Jane Pratt, founding editor of Sassy magazine. I saw an article about homeless deterrents; these are basically spikes, sharpened stones, slanted walls, and other architechural designs that deter the homeless and other people from loitering. Horrible, right?

http://www.xojane.com/issues/anti-homeless-deterrent-spikes-hurt-homeless-people-and-they-arent-good-for-anyone-else-either

http://stsnext20.org/vignettes/2014/03/26/when-parisian-benches-have-politics-street-furniture-and-the-strategies-of-spatial-exclusion/

This is the poem that came about because of the prompt and the two articles:

In our afternoon session, I read "Deterrents" to the workshop group. When Cat has us read our pieces, immediately afterward, we enter a fake "green room." The writer remains silent while the others in the group discuss the poem. Cat created an open environment where we did not have to be "afraid" of having our poems discussed or critiqued.

The discussion about "Deterrents" made me smile. The group was discussing the images and how they were cold images, similar to images that would be in a dystopian piece. Questions were asked such as "Has the world ended?" One person in the workshop commented on the use of hydrangea bushes. Apparently, when iron (in the form of iron drops or even in the form of buried, rusted nails) is added to the soil of hydrangea bushes, it helps to make them have a blue hue. Someone had questioned where the mention of hydrangea bushes being near iron gates was intentional.

When I was "released" from the green room, I told the group about the article on homeless deterrents. In the end, it didn't matter if they thought my poem was about a Hunger Games-esque dystopia or if it was about my intended subject, homeless deterrents. The poem got the group to discuss and debate. Interestingly, even though I used tons of concrete images, without the narrative, the readers were left to figure out their own story to tell.

Day 3 prompts

I have a love/hate relationship with poetry prompts. There's the love aspect because of the challenge that they provide. Most workshop prompts are "out there" and very creative; if your mind is blank, a prompt forces you to have something about which to write. My hatred for prompts, or rather frustration, also stems from the challenge that prompts provide.

I am, however, fascinated with the various directions that writers take with the prompts. Even though everyone may be writing in response to the same prompt, there seems to be a limitless amount of ways in which writers will respond.

I definitely would like to incorporate some of these prompts with my students throughout the school year. Many students struggle with poetry writing because they think there is a certain "way" that a poem has to be written. They'll ask me questions such as "Do we have to use similes? Which point of view do we use? Can each line have capitals? Can there be sentences?" Prompts provide some kind of structure in which students can work (some students like that structure too), but then they also allow for plenty of freedom.

Overall, we received four prompts today. One prompt was to write something inspired by Ellen Bass' poem, "Remodeling the Bathroom." The poem surprises the reader by placing together the concept of one's last day of life with images of a bathroom renovation.

The next prompt involved creating several dream fragments that are also "wholly separate, independent narratives."

The third prompt was one from poet Renee Ashley. The prompt called for the writing of 10 lines with NO use of abstract nouns, a minimum of one concrete noun in each line, No narrative, and at least 3 sentence fragments.

The fourth prompt had the following guidelines:
1. Write about something in a room--it's moving---include it in the poem and keep it moving
2. Feature a seasonal piece of clothing in the poem
3. Include a recipe (brief description)
4. Include something Catholic

Day 3, morning critique

In the morning, we began by each reading a piece we had worked on during the previous day. I read a piece inspired by a Paraclausithyron prompt. In short, Paraclausithryon writings focus on the concept of being "locked out." The writer can take the concept of being locked out and approach it any way she pleases.

Below is the piece that I wrote:

The most helpful piece of feedback that I received is a gem of wisdom that all poets can use: do not slow down readers at the end of your piece by including ambiguity. My poem had an array of interesting images, but then I confused the reader with the lines "hundreds of people/ are hundreds of mirrors/ and if shards break away/ they can easily be replaced." While those lines might be interesting, they are definitely abstract and do confuse the reader. Throughout the poem, there is this tone of loneliness. Then, the mirror lines make it seem like the subject of the poem is judging others, or something along those lines. Those four lines completely alter the poem.

Many times, I think that us poets are hesitant to take out lines. Poetry is compressed as it is, and if we revise and take out lines, then our piece becomes, in some cases, significantly shorter. If those words detract from the overall piece, shouldn't they be cut out?

I think less experienced poets equate ambiguity with a poem being "deep." These aTi sessions have shown me that if you can make concrete images "deep," then that's when you're truly on your way to mastering poetry.

Day 2, afternoon session

Cat said there's no such thing as writer's block. Instead, there is self-doubt and that creates barriers when we write.

From 1-2, we were given time to write a poem in response to one of our four prompts. I put my headphones on, Lou Reed streaming through them, and hoped that I'd be able to create something "worthwhile" in the hour time span. I started a poem about stretch marks, time, and experience. After six lines, I then saved the document and moved on to something else. I wanted to write the poem in response to "I lift heavy things" and I wanted the piece to discuss emotional things that we lift up and down. I didn't get past brainstorming. I finally got some momentum when I got my "inspiration": cocoa butter!

Here is draft #1:

As you can see, I started a pattern of having a main noun as the first line of each stanza. Then, I described the noun and how it connected to cocoa butter. This got gimmicky very quickly and I felt frustrated.

I then decided to change the set up of the piece and wrote draft #2:

The draft "#2" that is above is actually draft #3. The document above already has changes within it from the afternoon session with the group. I had lines about "relentless sun" and "absence of rain." By mentioning the sun, there is no need to mention "absence of rain;" it is a redundant phrase. I also had some wordiness in the lines about reggae music. My workshop group helped me condense those lines and make them tighter. I still feel the need to work on this piece. That's the amazing thing about poetry. You could have a small 15 line poem and constantly be working on adding a single word or removing a single word. Revision is very strategic. For most readers, this poem may be "fine" as it is. I want to make some of the images more concrete (leftover brainswashing from Peter Murphy...lol). For instance, the lines that mention "gluttony" and "reckless living." What do those phrase exactly mean? Wouldn't it be better if I pinpointed those words instead of leaving them floating in the air of abstractness?

Day 2

We spent the morning workshopping our poems. We each read one of our poems aloud. After we each individually read, Cat has us go into the imaginary "green room." The poet who work is being discussed stays silent; meanwhile, the rest of us discuss specific lines that we liked, structural issues, etc. After a few minutes, the poet is let out of the "green room" and a whole group conversation takes place. This type of critique process works very well. Many complimentary things are said about people's pieces, but there is also valuable and constructive feedback on words that can be replaced or omitted, lines that can be broken up differently, or even just general brainstorming for intriguing titles.

This morning I read the following poem. It was from a prompt which required use of a subordinate clause starter, use of the word "ordinarily," and mention of fast food and textiles.

Below is my draft:

Parts of the poem definitely feel forced, but that tends to come with the experience of responding to a prompt. There was definite positive feedback from the group. Many enjoyed the language used in the last line, especially the word "cleaving." Laurie mentioned that there is an S sound throughout the poem and it makes it flow nicely when it is read aloud. Suggestions were made, however, to omit "ordinarily" from the poem and even to take out the whole sentence that features "ordinarily." Suggestions were also made to mention the specific type of food that is "sizzling."

Although poetry can be prose-like or can have stanzas and traditional line breaks, I decided to revise the piece so that there would be more line breaks too.

During the rest of the morning, we read two dog poems; these pieces went along with a prompt for later in the day. We also read two pieces that were considered "paraclausi thyron." One piece was contemporary and the other was a poem by Emily Dickinson. The two pieces shared the similarity of focusing on "being locked out or left out."

In addition to the two prompts above, we also were given a prompt "inspired" by a phrase that my husband often says: "I just want to life heavy things." We also were given the choice of writing about an item from a purse (from perspective of object, using the object as an extended metaphor, ode to the object, poem about history of the object, etc).

Business cards and cultural icons

Toward the end of the afternoon, we received an additional prompt. We each wrote down three cultural icons on separate strips of paper. We then mixed up all of paper strips and then chose three. Additionally, Cat had us randomly choose three business cards from her collection.

The idea is to create a poem which features one of more cultural icons "in conversation" with the business from the card. Our cultural icons ran the gamut. I wrote down Bill Clinton playing the saxophone, Oprah Winfrey, and Bart Simpson.

From the collection of strips, I ended up with the names Marilyn Monroe, Mother Theresa, and Brenda Starr. I quickly learned that Brenda Starr was a comic book character --a female reporter from the 1940s and onward.

I had three different business cards, but ultimately chose to write in response to a card that advertised a mime/entertainer.

My rough draft is currently divided into three sections, but it focuses on an underappreciated mime who meets and falls for Brenda Starr.

Working through a prompt

Below is draft one from my "answer a stupid question" prompt. After workshopping our poems during the afternoon, the most helpful piece of advice I received was to embed NJ more into the poem. The first line of the poem centers on NJ, but then the rest of the poem is general. Sometimes when one is writing, the most obvious inclusion is not obvious at the time.

This is only draft #1 and I am definitely going to revise the piece. I wanted to show it below so that readers could see the chaos of a first draft. At first, I made the poem in the past tense. Then, I scratched out verbs and changed them to the present tense. Sometimes, I change adverbs to adjectives and vice versa.

In short, this is definitely a "work in progress."

(Um...sidenote...somehow the image got deleted....oops. Well, it was chaotic...believe me...)

Titles prompt

I completed the prompt, but did not end up turning any of the titles into poems...yet.

1. Triskaidekaphobia
2. Heirloom tarnished silver chains
3. What was your dream last night?
4. Spelunking
5. Kyanize
6. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
7. Please sit down and take out a #2 lead pencil
8. Elvis is alive and living with Mama Cass!
9. Two teens caught trying to steal kittens from Princeton animal shelter
10. ?
11. Wildwood Crest
12. 10% of the general population is left handed
13. Pictures of you
14. 180 days
15. "All the world's a stage"
16. Osmosis
17. Chutzpah
18. Intercourse, PA
19. ecstatic/joyful/happy/satisfied
20. Esophagus

"Accidental tippings into work"

I want to detest poetry prompts---I really do. I want to have surges of creativity spontaneously occur. I want to be disciplined and sit at my computer on a daily basis, feverishly writing away for extended amounts of time.

I guess I also want reality to cease its existence too.

Although prompts can seem forced or even gimmicky, they really do help writers get started. They're especially helpful if one has been "out of the writing loop" for awhile.

We were given several prompts to stir our ideas.

Together, we completed something called Exquisite Corpse. Apparently, it's similar to an old parlor game called Consequences. It's basically a group poem. One person creates a phrase or sentence. The next person then creates a phrase or sentence that is the opposite of the previous line. The paper is folded accordion style so that each writer can only see one previous line. Our "exquisite corpse" began with streaks of light in the sky, eventually discussed Babe Ruth autographing a baseball bat, and ended with furniture missing legs.

The prompts we were individually given were as follows:

1. Use Susan Terris' "Twenty Ideas for Titles" and then fulfill one of the titles as a poem
2. Write a "stupid question poem"
3. Create a poem which follows these guidelines:
          a) begin the poem with a subordinate clause
          b) begin one sentence or line with the word "ordinarily"
          c) the poem must include mention somewhere of fast food and textiles

Introductions

This is my third year of aTi. For my first year, I completed the poetry workshop with Peter Murphy and stayed at Stockton College. Last year, I took a break from the written arts in order to pursue pottery instruction with Deb Goletz. This year, I decided to get back to my passion of creative writing.

Our workshop is being led by Cat Doty. Cat has always fascinated me since she is also a middle school Language Arts instructor. During the school year, I rarely feel the "fire" to write; those middle schoolers are wonderfully energetic, but sometimes they are also what I refer to as "energy vampires." Each day, after the duration of 6 1/2 hours, those twelve-year olds suck up one's energy and creative impulses----or at least that has been my experience. I give my all to my job, but when I get home, writing poetry is one of the last things on my mind. I wondered how Cat could balance teaching reading and writing (especially in this current age of new teacher evals and PARCC testing) and still create new poetic works.

Besides myself, our workshop includes four other attendees. There's Svea and Susan; they both teach high school creative writing courses in high-performing, competitive schools. There's Lauren, a high school English instructor in Newark. There's also Seema; she said she hasn't taught in "100 years" (her words, not mine), but she has an MFA, energy, and positivity.

We started off the morning by reading several poems: "Boy in Stolen Evening Gown," "Summer Solstice, New York City," "The Dream I Don't Remember," "Mirror," "Did I Miss Anything?," and a piece from Her Book of Difficulty. We spent time discussing line breaks, "turns" in poems (a surprise moment when the poem completely shifts and surprises the reader), contrasts from one stanza to the next, and poets' change in form over time (we specifically discussed Renee Ashley's career).

During the morning we also discussed our previous experiences with workshops. We discussed what exactly makes a poem. We did not come to one finite definition---which is actually how a discussion of that kind should end.

We next did a small activity that would later lead into an afternoon prompt. We were told to write down two "stupid questions" on a sheet of paper. We then read the questions aloud. Before I wrote down my stupid questions, I looked around the room and I thought to myself What if my questions are too stupid? Many times in life, we are our own worst enemies. This could not be any truer than it is with poets and writers. The goal here was to write stupid questions. I think I succeeded with my two choices: 1) What determines an "innie" or "outie" belly button? and 2) Can you flip your eyelids?

Later in the day, I noticed that the aTi Facebook page was filled with photos of day one. The photographs included people sketching and painting on canvas, playing drums, creating marbleized works, completing printmaking work, and molding clay. Our poetry workshop was not included. I do not think this was intentional at all, but I started thinking about how our photographs would look. If a person walked by our little poetry lair (our classroom is tucked away in a secluded spot), she might think we were just a bunch of people casually chatting. Although many of us think of poetry as an independent activity, interaction and discussion helps facilitate a more creative environment.

In the afternoon of day one, we did plenty of writing...